quiet seat by a window

The museum was free today and open until 9PM.  I feel like visual art charges my creative battery.  I walked the courtyard and remembered a time when I rehearsed a show on this property.  That play was huge for me.  It was the height before a creative downfall would knock me flat for years.  My marriage started to deteriorate right before I signed the insurance rider and rented the rehearsal space.  Today would have been my tenth wedding anniversary.  I haven't thought about today as anything special for years now.  It's actually because I was celebrating my "Un-niversary" this time four years ago that I met someone else that was very special in my life.  I made my way to the second floor and found a tucked away bench in the windowed crust of the building.  I watched the two stick figures perpetually walk down McDowell.  One of them gets ahead and the other scrambles to catch up.  Always.  Ultimately, they always find a mutual stride.  They find their pace.  This little corner of windowed crust is where I can see the city; but the city, it can't see me.  This quiet seat by a window has good memories.  Tomorrow holds even greater ones.

doing the thing

I am producing again, and it feels great.  We are shooting a commercial in a week for Two Hippies Beach House in Scottsdale.  We're doing it for free, and it's just a bit in the middle of our web-series, but it feels good to be making the calls and getting the ball rolling.  We are doing a photo shoot for our poster on Monday, and we do our first promotional spot on Thursday.  Kicksterter.com page should be launched before the weekend is over, as will the script be finished by then.  Hopefully, we can get some sponsorship after that!  The second episode will be filmed before the month is over.  It looks like it's gonna be funny!

Get ready for nine to ten episodes of pure hilarity.

Then, we'll move on to a different concept.

Outliers

success takes approximately 10,000 hours.

obviously, sacrifice is needed.

what are you willing to sacrifice for success?

present finances, future love?

what is my passion worth?

everything.

displacement

I think that if we are not careful, we put our own intentions onto other people.  It is like a lover that accuses you of cheating when you're not.  Most likely, that person is the one doing the cheating.  When someone starts an argument that states that you are trying to hurt them, most likely it is them trying to do the hurting. I have found too much pride in myself to be baited into a situation like that.  I will not give anyone power over me again.  I look to control no one but myself.  I also look to no one to control me.

Find your happiness and know that I release you to it.  If you're ever not happy, my shoulder is here no matter what.  Just remember, we have no one to blame but ourselves for where we are in life.

If your happiness happens to be near me, then I will smile in the warmth that you radiate.

Bar Smith? Bar Free!

I found myself downtown,
and with the kindest soul.

Folk music and smiles,
and a dose of rolled cigarettes.

"I'm glad you are right here, right now,"
and "Namaste".

I meet the most beautiful people.

.

I tend to cling to things.  Is it because I am I afraid of what I could be without those attachments?  Is it because I am afraid of losing what is normal?  Am I just comfortable?

I'm done with being comfortable.

--

New experiences and new friends.

I am surrounded by all sorts of people that are attracted to who I really am.  I am too, for the most part.  I'm getting there.  Quickly.

honest (drunken) blather (yay!)

I apologize to my faithful readers (both of you).  I have been mostly positive all of my life.  I, like any man, woman, or child, am guilty of weakness.  Even a fighter (see last blog entry) has his moments of weariness.  I am sorry because I have written quite a bit about how I have pined for someone that does not want me.  Why?  Because everyone craves comfort.  Comfort is good though.  It's one of our basic instincts.  Instilled at birth, it is one of our better needs.  Compared to our other birthed requisites (hunger/poopy), it's much more appealing.  The lesson?  Find those close to you that want to nurture your comfort, and comfort them back.  That is the sum of every type of love.  Do not seek it from those that do not wish to be there for you. Use the Ferber Method on yourself at the very least.  Learn to self-sooth.  Being alone is not the same as being without.  Never be without.  Find comfort in the simplest of things.  Be present.  Be with yourself, and people will be drawn to you.  I am drawn to the person that pointed this out to me; a friend that claims to know this subject.  With her wise words, I doubt that she will be alone for much longer.

I'm glad that someone claims to be my totem.  I am never 'without' with good friends.  They are never even 'alone' as long as I am here.  I love being with people.  Collectively, it is why we are here.  To be with each other.  I will always be with you, friend.

Oh, shit!  I think I'm a Secular Humanist (without being pretentious about it).

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P.S.: I love to write in the parenthetical.  It allows me to be honest (with a dash of mild [very mild {borderline non-existant}] humor).

See, that last example was like Inception, except with parentheses.

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P.P.S.: I go now to eat my son's leftover wings (yay!).

I less than three chicken wings.